Survival
by GildedDiscourse
Summary: Weekly training sessions take a strange twist when out of the blue Doctor Oliver decides to take the team in a direction none of them expected. Dubbed the first guinea pig, the red ranger rises to the challenge and meets his mentor head on. But when he's faced with the unexpected, Conner learns the true meaning of survival and just what his mentor believes is far more important.


"**Survival"**

** By Gilded Discourse**

It was going to be a long night.

It had been a long _day _as a matter of fact.

Earlier in the month Doctor Oliver had decided to step up their ranger training sessions; intermingling the usual martial arts, tactical analysis and combat weaponry sessions with something no one had quite expected.

Survival training.

It had caught the entire team by surprise and absolutely none of them had been looking forward to it. To be honest, the teens hadn't quite understood _why_ such skills would be necessary. Their line of work seemed more focused on battling monsters, mutants and cyborg's on a daily basis while juggling home work and extra curricular activities. Oh and _of course_ keeping their true identities out of the papers. Easy right?

Teaching them how to manage to kick butt and_ still _pass government with their secret intact, now _that_ was a skill they desperately needed.

How could learning to fend for oneself, cut off from everyone and everything with nothing but the clothes on their back to survive be a relevant skill to the cause?

But the black ranger had been adamant. He insisted one never knew the environments they could be unleashed upon, and had to be prepared to survive no matter the odds. Tommy himself had recounted multiple excursions when he had been lost and alone, either from escaping capture or being shipped off in another attempt to kill him in deserts, jungles, bandit planets and one particularly terrifying voyage on the vast and empty surface of the moon. How _that _had happened and the man survived they didn't quite understand. And of course, him being not only their teacher and mentor but also the most experienced Ranger in history, they couldn't _exactly_ turn down the lessons. No matter how much they collectively wanted to.

And Connor, being the so-called-leader of the teenaged portion of their little contingent had been the first guinea pig. He had spent the entire miserable day learning how to capture water without tools, how to fashion weapons from ones surroundings, and how to avoid being detected, all while being hunted by their unmatched mentor.

Needless to say he had failed _spectacularly_.

Of course the paleontologist had taught him all the tricks of the trade before sending him out on his own, but none of those lessons had apparently stuck. The soccer kids mind was swiss cheese when the information it needed to soak in had nothing to do with women or sports.

After managing to almost break his neck falling from a tree, getting chased by a wild hog, how the heck that animal had even gotten here in the first place he hadn't a clue, and literally falling head first down a sink hole, it was the tumble into a quicksand-esque mud pit while managing to take Tommy down _with_ him that finally halted the day.

Sopping wet and muddied, the teacher had led the irritable protégé back to base camp to clean up in a nearby and unfortunately frigid stream before settling down for a meager dinner. Correction, _Doctor Oliver_ had settled in for dinner, consisting of small local fish and a collection of nuts and wild berries the man had managed to scavenge all while successfully hunting and tagging his target, aka Connor, multiple times. The Red ranger had managed none of those things, despite being shown just what was edible and what was not. When the boy attempted to snack on something that looked suspiciously like poison oak Tommy had taken pity on him and shared his simple foragings.

Now they sat around a roaring camp fire, soaking up the heat wantonly after that rather chilling dip. It was still winter technically. How_ now_ could be the best time for this he'd never understand. But again Doctor O had insisted. The teenager detested the idea now more than he had when they began. And he doubted anything would change that opinion short of a horde of harem girls belly dancing out of the forest to heat up the night and his rather frosty demeanor. He couldn't quite keep the scowl from his face, shooting more often in not in the paleontologists direction.

Tommy shifted, appearing completely unruffled as his hands attempted to rub warmth into almost bare biceps to ward off the chill.

Unfortunately, it wasn't working.

Standing the man padded towards his pack, snatched up his only blanket and a long sleeved shirt. He himself had packed as sparingly as possible. Tommy was of the mindset that he would never put his teammates through anything he wasn't willing to do himself. Making his way back to the teen, the professor, without comment, draped the cloth about the boys shivering shoulders.

"Thanks." Connor muttered, snuggling deeply into the comfy fleece. It wasn't an extravagant blanket by any means, but it was a far cry better than the t-shirt and jeans he was sporting. Tommy nodded and yanked his own top off. Tossing it back towards his satchel, he jerked the long-sleeved number on instead in record time. It really _was_ rather nippy out here.

A glint of silver flashed against soft golden skin, winking like a pale beacon beneath the vale of black.

Despite his dismal mood, the flickering thing caught the kid's attention instantly.

"Woah." Connor gaped in shock, leaning forward sharply as their teacher straightened his shirt. "Dude, Dr. O!" The rearing red exclaimed, not quite believing what exactly his eyes were telling him. Despite the earrings he and the other rangers had caught the man wearing once or twice, the science teacher type wasn't something they'd associate with body mutilation.

"What?" Tommy asked somewhat distractedly as he tugged the fabric about his neck back into its proper place. Before he could utter anything else, nevermind truly comprehend what his student suddenly found so fascinating, the soccer star in question snatched the hem of his mentors top and forced it up. The black ranger jerked in surprise, realizing unhappily just what had caught the boy's attention.

"_You_ have a _**navel **__ring_!?"

Sure enough, a small silver curl of wire looped, pierced into the paleontologist's skin, circling through in three distinct hoops in three separate corners giving the man's belly button the look of someone a bit too infatuated with piercings. Before the teen could get too detailed a glance however, Oliver pulled from the stunned grasp and yanked the fabric back into place; hiding the damning hints of metal. He did _not _like the look his student-turned-teammate was now shooting his way.

"It isn't a piercing." Tommy replied adamant, but strangely soft, almost hesitant as if it was a topic he was decidedly uncomfortable broaching.

"I know a navel ring when I see one man. And _that_ is a navel ring. Though, I've never seen one that looks quite like _that _before." Connor mumbled, a devious, imp-like gaze flitting from the now concealed bits of steel to his teachers smoky eyes and back again.

"It's _not_ a piercing Connor." Doctor Oliver insisted, plopping down on the nearest log thankfully out of the boy's immediate reach. He did not, of course, volunteer the truth of what the item in question was however. Leaning forward, instead the agile martial artist braced covered elbows atop strong knees further obscuring the interesting piece; as if hiding it could derail a conversation he did not look too intent upon having.

"Then what is it?" The red ranger inquired all but challenging his teacher to defy his perceptions. If his eyes and the flicker of shadow from the fire hadn't been playing tricks on him, there was a trimming of strange black spider webbing out from the little loops like some queer tattoo. That certainly wasn't normal. But he had seen stranger things.

"You _really_ don't want to know."

Connor eyed his mentor, noting with ease the serious edge lining those oft warm features. There was a heaviness there, almost a haunted look he couldn't quite explain. All layered with thick lines of resolution and resolve.

"Could you sound _any _more ominous?"

Tommy snorted, the corner of sculpted lips curling in amusement.

"Probably."

"Come _on_ man. It can't be_ that_ bad." He had to reassess that particular statement all but immediately with the look Tommy shot his way. There was that heaviness again. And if he looked hard enough he probably would have seen the darkness there too. Darkness that would have scared the crap out of any sane person to boot. However Connor was neither entirely sane, nor very observant.

"Trust me; it's not something you want to be aware of." Doctor Oliver was trying his best to dissuade the teenager. He knew to reveal the truth of that particular fashion statement would cause more harm in the long run than reassure, despite its nature. He had found that out first hand when a few members of his previous teams had discovered the little addition. It had been an accident then too. And the resulting fallout was particularly horrendous. Jason in particular hadn't spoken to him for weeks.

"Why? I mean, it's not like it's a bomb or anything." Connor smarted off; attempting to discard the seriousness his mentor insisted on cramming down his throat with that stereotypical humor.

It didn't work.

One look into those black chocolate eyes and he all but fell off his makeshift chair.

"Oh god it_ is_ isn't it?"

When the student began frantically backing away, obviously in fear, the older man flinched as if struck.

No matter how many times he was faced with that reaction, it never made it easier.

"It's not a bomb, Connor. You are perfectly safe, far safer than you would be without it as a matter of fact. So please, sit down and stop trying to run from me as if I were a leper with a head cold." It was calm, precise.

The teen stopped squirming his way across the dirt like some backwards insect and froze instantly. If he'd honestly paused to think about it, he would have realized just how monumentally _stupid_ that idea was. The ranger mentor cared far too much to put them, or _anyone_ for that matter, in danger like that. It had been obvious from day one. And what had he done? Basically insinuated the man, who continually gave everything of himself for anyone outside of himself, was purposefully putting them in harms way.

Yep, he definitely felt like a _complete _jackass now.

Clearing his throat nervously, the red ranger stood, painstakingly dusted the debris from dark slacks and shyly returned to the previously abandoned seat. He sharply shook the twigs and leaves from the borrowed bedding and simply wrapped it back about slim shoulders without fanfare.

"Sorry Doctor O." The teen mumbled sufficiently chastised, hunched in a rather pathetic attempt to curl into oneself and disappear. Unfortunately, that was the _professor's_ given power, not his own. And boy did he envy him for it right then.

"It's alright." Tommy shrugged, dark chocolate lost amongst the dancing flames. "I didn't exactly instill warm fuzzies with that warning." There was amusement in the soft snort and curl of sculpted lips, but it did not quite reach his eyes.

"Maybe not, but still…" The newest Red trailed off; idly rubbing an arm he'd managed to scrap up quite nicely in the mad scramble. A silence hung heavy over the seasoned ranger. Quick fleeting glances from the corner of ashamed eyes assured that no comment would be forth coming any time soon. "I know you better than that. It was a pretty crappy thing to think."

"I can't particularly blame you for it Connor." Tommy assured, tossing a smile in the younger man's direction without removing that intense gaze from the flickering fire. "Don't worry about it."

"Will you tell me what it really is?" The teenager asked somewhat tentatively.

The paleontologist sighed.

If there was one thing all Reds had in common outside of the habit of self-sacrifice, it was stubbornness. No matter the year, the location, the species; they were all the same. The black Ranger knew without a doubt that the boy wouldn't give up. And to be honest, he had a right to know.

"Are you _positive_ you _really_ want to know that?" He inquired, finally looking up to lock eyes with the student; grabbing hold, taking him hostage. Something in that look froze Conner in place. No matter how hard he tried he could not turn away. If he were truly honest with himself, a part of him _was_ apprehensive. With Tommy making such a fuss about it, it had to be pretty bad.

"I warn you, you won't like the answer to that question. And once you know the truth, you won't be able to forget it." There was warning there, but also, almost an air of challenge.

The teen was quite frankly confused. Sure natural curiosity burned for any and all knowledge he could get of their mysterious mentor. The man was an enigma the Dino rangers had yet to solve. And that edge of challenge, as if the man where testing the waters of Connor's courage certainly had his ego bristling in all the wrong places. But there was fear also. For something to put that sort of hesitation in the unshakable, unbreakable Tommy Oliver it had to be something pretty darn profound. And he wasn't sure he was strong enough to carry a secret with such weight attached. Rangering was one secret he already felt taxed in keeping. Could he weather another?

_No._

_I don't really want to know. I __**don't**__ want to know. I-don't-wanna-know. Idon'twannaknow. _

_I… wanna know. _

_**Damn it.**_

"Yes." The Red ranger declared at last, bravely keeping his teachers gaze.

Pride. It was as plain to see as a stop sign in the desert. The man was actually _proud_ of the teen's decision and it completely caught him off guard. Connor blinked dumbly for a moment. But that was all it took. The instant of almost paternal satisfaction vanished as if it had never been, immediately replaced with a sort of blandness the teen did not like seeing the older man wear. There was no emotion, no obvious thought hidden in those expressive eyes. Instead, he was a blank canvas; empty, clean, simply _there_. As if he stood removed from himself, not at all affected by whatever secrets the former green ranger kept. It was a somewhat unnerving change.

Tommy leaned forward, pale looking hand's interlaced as he delved into the warm halo emitted from the campfire. It did nothing to warm his features.

"It's a failsafe."

The simple confession caught the teen off guard.

"_What_?" That didn't exactly jive with the oogy boogy the man had been implying. How could something like **that** be bad?

"It's in essence a failsafe system. I had it implanted in the latter half of my Zeo days." Tommy explained somewhat cryptically. The man began to uncurl, leaning back, drawing the shirt up in the same motion. Connor immediately found his attention darting to the metal in question like a bullseye.

Bright eyes snapped up, as if asking permission before scooting closer.

There they were, those three metal loops, with the strange black webbing. Now that he looked closer, he realized his initial impression of it was quite skewed. The metal wasn't entirely smooth, but ridged like an industrial cord. They tucked through the skin and dipped down into the navel itself. When he leaned closer he realized there was a small steel cylinder embedded in the indentation itself. Those black lines spewing from the junction of metal and flesh in fact looked liked veins poisoned and jutting out in strange almost technological angles. It wasn't overly large though, and a quick glance at a distance would easily lead any onlooker to make the same assumptions he had. But now, he knew without a doubt that is _wasn't_ a simple piercing.

Assured the boy had gotten a good look; Tommy dropped the cloth, and swiveled on the log. With his back towards his student, the Black Ranger now grasped the edge of his collar and tugged it down. At the base of the neck, where the spine just juts into the first visible vertebrate, a second metal protrusion appeared. This one did not loop out as the navel one did. Instead, there was a small metal rectangle tucked beneath the ridge of the vertebrate with several small titanium wires delving directly into the spine. The black computer-chip like veining appeared here also. The whole thing was low enough that a casual t-shirt would not expose the metal, but anything less would lay it bare for the world to see. Connor was beginning to realize just why the seasoned ranger wore so many layers.

Without thinking a hand moved, almost reverently brushing across the strange cold metal. The instant foreign skin touched steel a sharp jolt arced between two bodies, singeing fingers and causing both rangers to jerk.

"What was _that_?!" Connor hissed, popping tingling digits into a soothing mouth. A tongue laved the epidermis, attempting to ease the bite. Tommy shivered and swiftly tucked the cloth back over the alien looking addition.

"A precaution to prevent tampering." The man explained, turning back about to once more face the flames. Instead of glancing at the young red, he seemed once more hypnotized by the primal, elemental dance atop the logs. Looking closer however, it was clear his attention was far beyond the flames, far beyond this moment in time in fact. "It's imprinted with genetic code to allow only those programmed, access. Only myself, to a degree, and two others can touch the implants without such a reaction. If anyone else comes in contact with it, or it is touched by metal it sends out that warning shock."

"Why?"

"For safety. I can't risk someone disabling the mechanism or tamping with the programming in any way."

"No, I get that. I mean… What is the whole.. failsafe-thing protecting against?" Connor asked instead, somewhat stumbling across his words as they mumbles passed captured fingers. Tommy did not so much as hesitate.

"Me."

_That_ threw the teen for a serious loop. For a long moment, the young man could not quite grasp the full weight of that single statement and confusion ran circles through his brain. It just didn't make any sense.

"Wha-? I… I don't understand. You're this legendary ranger, the best there ever was. Why would anyone need protection from _you_?"

Tommy shrugged and tossed another log on the fire. "It's a long story."

The teen snorted, motioning to the empty woods around them.

"I've got time."

Recognizing curiosity fueled determination, the ranger master relented.

"Remember the video you three found when Mesogog nabbed me?"

Connor nodded.

"Do you remember my introduction into rangering?"

"Uh. Sure, I guess. You were kidnapped by some witch with really bad hair and she made you the green ranger. Then you joined the other five, right?"

"It's a bit more complicated than that." Tommy informed with a somewhat strange smile. "Rita, the space witch in question, didn't just kidnap me. She tort-" He verbally tripped over the abusive word and quickly switched to something less frightening. "She _twisted_ me, breaking me down beyond my physical and mental limits until I was as close to death as I had ever been in those fourteen years of life. When I could no longer fight, she wove an ancient and powerful spell turning me into, essentially, her evil puppet."

_Fourteen? God Doctor O was __**that**__ young when he started fighting? That's insane! And I thought __**we**__ had it bad… I never realized he was so young… that's just.. __**wrong,**__ man._ Conner mused with disgust and a hint of awe. Sure they knew their mentor was the most amazing ranger out there and he'd been fighting longer than anyone, but to become a soldier so young was a bit of a shock. To be honest, it was incredibly uncomfortable to think about; particularly when he keenly remembered all the times he or the other rangers had badgered the man about being too hard on them with classes and keeping up between battles. Instead, he focused on the second aspect that had his mind reeling.

"You were _evil_? Dude… I don't remember hearing _that_ in the video."

"I was. And unfortunately for me, and the rest of the world, I was _very_ good at being very _bad_. Single handedly I practically destroyed the command center, the rangers mentor and his assistant; twice. Nevermind half of the city on top of that. I nearly killed the other rangers more than once too, and," He hesitated, glancing at the boy. _Should_ he tell him the truth? Would it be too hard for the young man to handle? Knowing his mentor was a… murder? "Well, I did a lot of other _really_ terrible things." He decided instead. There was still a shred of youth in the teenager, an innocence that Mesogog and his monstrosities hadn't entirely been able to destroy yet. He couldn't take that from him.

"Did you really hurt anyone?" It might have been a stupid question but Conner _had_ to know.

A quick glance into that solemn face was all the confirmation he needed.

The Red Ranger swallowed; hard.

"Did you… kill anyone?" He asked bravely, though terrified of the answer. Tommy did not react. He remained removed, almost blank. That in and of itself, frightened him. Their mentor was a passionate man; it was rare for that fire to be completely extinguished. It could only mean-…. Oh _**god**__._

'_I think I'm gonna be sick.' _A hand lowered, pressing sharply into a suddenly unhappy stomach.

Sensing the youth's distress, Tommy quickly trudged on.

"I was trapped under her spell for two months before it was finally broken. It was then, and only then, after much cajoling, convincing and a guilt complex a continent wide, as Jase likes to say, that I joined the original rangers."

"Man… I had no idea." Connor mumbled, momentarily lost in the sheer magnitude of what his teacher had just told him. Tommy allowed him the time he needed to come to grips with it. If he could. He knew for a fact it couldn't be easy. After all, at times, it still haunted him.

"But I still don't understand why? I mean, what exactly is the fail-safe's purpose?" The brunette inquired, physically rerouting his thoughts to the original topic to avoid a mad dash into the woods and a rather violent and unpleasant upheaval.

"I suppose it wasn't really brought up in that video history but, that wasn't the only time one of our enemies kidnapped me and attempted to turn me against the others."

Wide eyes snapped onto orbs that had all but gone black, shocked and more than a little appalled.

"Are you serious?"

"Unfortunately." The paleontologist sighed with a very unhappy nod.

"Did they succeed?"

"Yes. Our enemies seemed quite keen on the idea for some reason. It happened several times after that. Occasionally it was a short tenure, and on occasion it was much longer. The point is, it _happened_, they turned me and in so doing I became an unwilling but terrible and devastating weapon against not only my team and friends, but also against the very world I had sworn to protect. I all but conquered planets under their control. I _destroyed_, and in turn, it destroyed me… After the last attempt by the Machine Empire I knew I'd had enough."

"So… You had the device installed to-?" Connor fished, not entirely connecting the dots quite fast enough. He wasn't stupid, but the sheer amount of information nevermind the magnitude of it all left him a little flummoxed.

"To prevent it from happening again." Tommy clarified simply.

"How is that even possible?"

Hand's laced with one another and a smart chin lowered atop the cool cradle they created.

"It has many functions. The primary purpose of the failsafe is to monitor my vitals, from the heartbeat, to pain levels, as well as stress, nerve impulses and my emotional state. The key feature however is the device here." The Black ranger explained, passing a hand across the small mechanism embedded in the base of his neck. "It continually monitors my brainwave patterns. You see each time I was twisted to the side of evil, there was a distinct change in my cognitive rhythms. I deduced that by monitoring it at all times for any drastic changes would be the quickest and most effective way to detect the efforts of an outside force trying to warp me to their will again."

"Ok, I… _think_ I get that. But how does that stop you from being turned evil a, uh, however many times it's been now?"

"The device not only monitors but has several back up features that are the key defense against such an occurrence. The instant a significant change in any of the readings, particularly the brain patterns, occurs they take immediate effect. A Xev'ren teleportation unit embedded in my chest cavity activates, transporting me from wherever I am to the current house of power. For instance, the Power Chamber during my Zeo or Turbo days, or our current lair now. At almost the exact same moment a force field is initiated, trapping me within a self contained shield I should not be able to break from, nor anyone else can break into without physically ripping the device from my body and destroying it. There is also a redundant system built into the lair itself as a back up in case I did manage to do that of course. It's designed to keep me completely contained until such a time as my readings return to normal and I am free from any outside stimulation. _If_ for whatever reason one of those precautions where compromised or in jeopardy of being compromised there is also a feature to render me unconscious should I become a threat."

It sounded somewhat reasonable, what he managed to follow of it at least. It was thorough and well thought out but something about it didn't _quite_ seem infallible. And what aspect exactly had Doctor Oliver been adamant about not telling him? A little force field and zap into unconscious wasn't exactly all that terrifying.

"What if it failed? I mean what if it was damaged or something?" The teen asked, trying to make heads or tails of this whole strange conversation.

"Its advanced alien technology, nevermind weaved with quite a bit of Eltarian magic. It would be difficult to break, though I suppose not impossible. I anticipated that. If something did happen and some aspect of it failed catastrophically, there is one final failsafe feature that makes the entire thing utterly effective."

It was the one feature he knew was the hardest for those around him to accept. The one he had wrestled with confessing to any of those few who knew of the devices existence.

"Which is?" Connor asked tentatively.

The look in the Black ranger's eyes right then trapped the boy's breath in his chest like a vice.

"If the device and myself were compromised there are two critical emergency features that would kick into effect. There is a capsule implanted in the mechanism in my chest that will break and release a serum not of this world with no known cure in the multiverse. Simultaneously, the circuits connecting to my nervous system through the spinal cord would unleash a jolt with the ability to stop most species in the existence." Seeing the blank, somewhat shell-shocked look Tommy changed tactics and went right for the obvious route instead.

"It would kill me." He explained simply.

"WHAT?!" The Red ranger's reaction was immediate and brutal. All at once the boy was upon his feet, boiling over with clashing waves of righteous rage and horror. Each emotion battled with the next as two great titans warring for supremacy. Neither had an advantage until the inherent _'Red gene'_ seemed to expand, latching onto burning fury with a death grip. "How could you possibly do something like that?! Do have any idea what would happen? What that would do?"

"I'm fully aware of the consequences Connor. I designed the mechanism myself."

"You designed?- Ho-How can you be _ok_ with this!? Don't you care about what your death would do to everyone else? What it would do to _us_!?"

"It's a far better fate than allowing any of you to die at my hands because of another one of my unwilling turns. You don't understand that danger Connor. You haven't lived it and I pray you never will." Tommy explained simply, unruffled by the boys confused rage. Conner however, would not be silenced, determined to make the man see reason.

"There's got to be another way man! You can't just give up like that. If something happened, we're _rangers_, we'd find a way to fix it. I **know** it!"

"Not in time to stop something terrible. It's_ never_ been in time."

"But still-" All at once the teacher jerked cutting the kid off mid-sentence, slapped his hands with a dull thump against the log and speared the boy in place with a burning stare.

"There is too much blood on my hands already Connor! Too many deaths I must shoulder the responsibility for. I don't think I could handle any more. This way, I not only save others but I save **myself**."

A sudden flash of red had the teenager leaping back, tripping over the abandoned makeshift seat with a yelp of shock. A figure appeared between the two Dino Thunder's, concern and apprehension etched into every feature. His gaze latched onto the seated teacher like a missile. Instead of appearing surprised, the paleontologist actually seemed to relax, the high strung tension coiled between strong shoulders loosening just a little in response to the newest arrival.

"Tommy? Are you alright?"

"Over protective much?" Doctor Oliver replied with a faint smile. "I'm _fine_ Jase."

"Jeez I _hate_ when you two do that!" Connor sniped, picking himself up from the soil for a second time that night. "Give a guy some warning next time will ya?" Plopping back onto his perch, he busied himself with picking forest debris from the borrowed blanket, flinging it uselessly at the first red; silently stewing.

"Sorry kid." Jason smirked, but kept his focus firmly on his best friend. "What happened? I felt some serious negative ripples." Ever since the older man had shared the Green powers with its true keeper, there had been a physical connection between the two. One, that often manifested itself at the worst times.

Tommy sighed, passing a slender hand across his midsection.

"He saw it." The man said simply. It was all the explanation the original Red Ranger needed. Midnight orbs locked with warm chocolate, searching far deeper than should have been humanly possible.

"You alright?"

"As I'll ever be." He reassured, the smile this time honest, returning a hint of warmth to features that had long since gone cold. "You better not have teleported out of anything important." The former Green Ranger scolded somewhat playfully.

"Nah, the kids went limping home hours ago."

Realizing his former teammate had no intention of leaving anytime soon, Tommy inched towards the edge of the fallen log and patted the smooth bark. It was all the invitation Jason needed to join him.

"You didn't beat them too badly did you?"

"_Never_." Jason teased, flashing that million dollar grin. Tommy chuckled, shaking his head. "They had too good a teacher for that. One, that delights in showing them such sneaky little tricks."

"Ah, got you good did they?"

Jason chuckled, not willing to admit the details. He had his pride after all.

"My ears are still ringing. Whoever said female rangers were the team's weakness never met Kira or that voice of hers."

"Yeah, she packs a wallop."

"The kicks not bad either."

"Ok can we get back on **topic** here _please_?" Connor huffed, throwing nasty looks between the two senior grid masters. "You can't exactly be happy with this, this _thing_ can you?" He demanded of the first red ranger, motioning wildly to his mentor's stomach.

"Of course not." Jason replied easily, but was quick to squash the triumphant look blooming in the boy's eyes. "But that doesn't change anything. As with all things Tommy, he has to be allowed to follow his own path, make his own decisions regardless of outside desires."

"The path he chose is self-destruction and you aren't even going to fight him on it?"

"Not self-destruction. Self-_preservation_." The black ranger spoke up, that world weary gaze settling on the young man.

"Right, because killing yourself is the ultimate way to save your soul." Connor replied sarcastically. He'd read the bible as a kid, he_ knew _what suicide cost. And that's exactly what Doctor O. was talking about here. Suicide; plain and simple. He could pretty it up and try to rationalize it all he wanted, but in the end it was just a fancy way to kill him to escape his problems and nothing more.

"You have to understand kid; this isn't an easy thing for anyone to digest. It took a long time for me to come to terms with his decision and longer still to understand just _why_ it was necessary. We became men together, fought along side each other for years. We saw many dark and terrible things in this war, but it wasn't until I saw the world from _his_ perspective that I truly understood." Jason explained, serious but somehow lighter in word and manner than his companion.

"What do you mean?"

"Not long before we graduated high school, a friend of ours and I, were kidnapped. Divatox intended to sacrifice us and raise an ancient evil to take over the universe. The rangers led by Tommy of course tried to stop her. But they were too late to save us. We descended into the pits of Maligor, and were twisted into servants of darkness. We were a force to be reckoned with. And in my blind hatred, I singled Tommy out, and attacked him with all the rage and anger that evil polluted my soul with."

"What's the point of this story?" Connor inquired somewhat exasperated when the first red paused. Jason glanced between his two companions, taking in the black ranger's silent detachment and the young teen's confused frustration. A hand moved almost of its own accord, reaching to lie upon Tommy's slender shoulder. It was a familiar action, one the man certainly appreciated.

"_The point_ is, I finally knew what it felt like to all but kill someone I love. I had him pinned over that pit, my hands wrapped about his throat, _squeezing_ the breath from his body. I held his very life essence in my grasp and I was determined to snuff it out no matter the cost. Driven by that evil I would not stop until he was dead at my feet." The memory of that encounter still disgusted him. Despite all the years that had passed, despite the arguments and unnecessary forgiveness. It was something he knew he'd never be free of. And it was that particular moment in time that led him to truly understanding the man at his side like no other. Tommy turned to the man, knocking a knee with his own.

"It wasn't that bad." Doctor Oliver pointed out, settling into the familiar argument as predicted.

"It was and you know it. You were two seconds away from death. I _felt_ it. I would have killed you." And Jason of course went along with it, serious but also in some sick way amused.

"But you didn't."

"Because you _saved_ me. And what's more, you didn't blame me for what I'd done."

The brunette laughed, brow raised.

"How could I? That would be just a _little_ hypocritical, don't you think?"

Jason's featured morphed then, melting into a look so compassionate it hurt, and not for the first time Conner could not help but wonder about these two. What horrors had they seen? What evils had they faced to turn them into such deep men with the weight of the world upon their backs?

"It was never your fault, what they made you do."

Tommy sighed, finally dropping those lamb-eyes and tossed another log onto the fire.

"Just like it wasn't my fault that I killed you?"

"You **didn't **_kill_ me." Jason bristled, the hand still upon the teacher's shoulder squeezing tight. That topic always made the man angry. Not at his best friend of course, no, it was never his fault. He was angry at the horrid monsters that put the former green through such a terrible thing.

"If Zordon hadn't interfered you'd still be dead Jase."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a minute. What do you _mean_ you **killed** him?" Connor interrupted the disagreement, brow tangled clearly perplexed. Obviously no one had died, both rangers sat before him _very _much alive. But part of him couldn't quite dismiss the claim like so many others might. Maybe this whole crazy encounter had him seeing things differently after all.

"Exactly that. At seventeen, I put a blaster to his unmorphed chest and fired, point blank." That supportive hand move, wrapping about instead to pull Tommy into a sort-of one armed hug; freely offering familiar comfort and understanding. Cocoa eyes, hollow and haunted, stared unwillingly into the distance mesmerized by a time long passed.

At last they clenched and turned away, banishing painful memories.

"It was the pain of watching him fall, of seeing that stunned confusion in eyes that had so blindly trusted that I would _never_ pull the trigger that snapped me out of the mind control I'd been subjected to. By the time we broke through the Machine Empires shields and returned to the command center, he was already dead... But, because of the nature of our powers then, and Zordon's, the Eltarian was able to infuse Jason with his life force, as he had once done for me. Ultimately it saved him, but.. it didn't change the fact that I killed my best friend."

"What I went through on that island made me truly understand and appreciate just what he suffered that day. And, all the times before it." Jason took over once again, giving his companion time to deal with the unpleasantness this conversation dredged up. "Now amplify that by a hundred, and then a thousand, and tell me you wouldn't do the same? It's a pain I wouldn't wish on anyone."

"Bu-But…" Conner swallowed, raking a hand through wild chestnut tufts. He was so focused upon making his point that he did not notice the slight tremble. "Why couldn't you just trust us? We would do _everything _we could to save you if you were turned. We would_ never_ let anything bad happen."

_Oh kid, you're far too young for this_. Tommy mused mournfully, shaking his head.

"It's not a matter of trust Connor. I have the utmost faith in each of you. I trust you with my life, with the very planet actually." There was such warmth in his eyes then, such profound respect and, indeed, paternal pride the teen felt humbled by it.

"Then, what-?" The boy muttered, utterly lost. The teacher sighed dejectedly, deciding the boy needed to hear the naked truth, to face the full ugliness of war and loss to _truly_ understand.

And that realization hurt so damn **bad**.

"Being a ranger means sometimes we have to make the hard decisions. And being the leader means we must bear the weight of those decisions, and their consequences. But this, _this_ is one decision, one consequence I cannot let you shoulder… You can't possibly understand just what _hell_ it is. Being striped of your morality, having all your weaknesses laid bare and exploited by your enemies, having the very control of your thoughts, your actions, your entire being ripped from your grasp. Being forced to watch in horror as your hand plunges a sword into your classmate's stomach just because she dared to cross your path. To beg for it all to just _end _when your Zord at your unwilling behest crushes an elementary school," his voice was firm, even and strangely unstrained by those terrible memories. And it was that weather-worn sort of resolution and easy familiarity with such hideousness that frightened Conner most of all. "Killing every innocent child inside. When you are wracked with so much guilt and covered in so much blood, that you yearn to **die** just to stop your finger from pulling the trigger that would murder the other half of your soul. It's a nightmare you can't even begin to fathom. Its a loss you should never be exposed to; the ultimate failure of any ranger. And I plan to keep it that way. If I turned again, every death I caused, every life lost would weigh upon each of you. You may think otherwise now, but I know _you_, and I_ know_ what wearing the colors does to you over time. And before long you'll have all the names of those you couldn't save etched upon your heart, and their faces will haunt you in your sleep... Tell me, honestly, after all that, what would you do if the only way to stop me was to kill me?... I'd never forgive myself for forcing that sin upon you. So to save you all, and to save this world**,** I choose to stop myself before the threat ever arose again."

Conner sat in stunned silence, jaw agape; innards twisted.

He'd never imagined things could be** that** bad in the life of a ranger. Yes, they were currently at war with a egomaniacal, Machiavellian mutant dinosaur, and despite the errant casualty here or there, he, Ethan and Kira, had been shielded from it. Sure, some part of the boy knew those people died because of _their_ failures. But it was a cold exposure to death, distant; removed. Even on the front lines, they rarely seemed to be faced with it. Perhaps that had something to do with the man sitting before him now, Conner realized. Tommy always seemed to gravitate towards the greatest threat in every confrontation, coaching the kids to corral the lesser evils or guide trapped citizens to safety while he planted himself firmly in the path of the larger dangers. Then, half way through every battle the three of them would retreat to the entirely detached safety of the Zords cockpit. From that height they'd blessedly never witnessed the massacre happening beneath their very feet. And all the while the black ranger would be down there, on the ground, immersed in the very bowels of that ugliness. Then, once the fighting ended, what did Tommy do but immediately send them all on their merry little way. As if they could return to their happy go luck lives like blissful idiots, pretending nothing had happened while the paleontologist stayed behind and dealt with the wretched aftermath single-handedly.

And it truly sickened to the boy to realize that's _exactly_ what they did. Every single time.

_Why_ hadn't he ever noticed before?

"He's the strongest person I know." Jason spoke up when the silence became too deafening. "Not just for having the courage to do what must be done to stop evil at all costs. But to continue to _live_ and continue to **fight,** despite it." Tommy shifted, casting his brother in all but blond a quiet look. Conner couldn't _quite_ name what was in the man's eyes just then, all he knew was he'd be honored to be graced with a look like that.

"You really think Doctor O. killing himself is courageous?" The current red asked curiously. That previous, violent rage had withered, tempered for the most part by these damning truths. Jason gifted the young man with an honest smile, it was small, but he felt warmed by it.

"Absolutely." The man confirmed with utter conviction. "Every ranger, in their core, eventually realizes that at any time we could die fighting the good fight. We prepare for it in our own ways, accept it as a possibility. And that is courageous in its own right, yes. But to stare evil in the eye, to feel its breath upon your neck and _know_ just what it could do **through** you; to face that darkness and have the strength to stop it even to the detriment of oneself, that takes a special kind of strength few have. To be willing to sacrifice not just your life but your very soul for the safety of others," Jason shrugged softly, giving his companions shoulders a firm squeeze, "what is that if not courage?"

"I would rather loose my soul in death, than allow it to be corrupted by darkness." That was perhaps Tommy's greatest fear. Not that he would turn again, not simply that he could kill all those he loved and countless others. But that he could be twisted and tortured so thoroughly and so deeply that he learned to _like_ it. **That** was a fate the man could not face.

Conner swallowed silently, his jaw working as his mind whirred contemplating all he had learned. There seemed to be truth in what the man said, and he didn't contemplate for a second that his mentor had at all lied to him. The paleontologist was truthful to a fault when it came to such deep matters. Every word was nothing but truth. But did that mean his conclusions and actions were justified? Was there truly _**no**__ other_ way?

He wasn't so certain.

"I-… I don't know that I can agree to that." The young man admitted finally, giving a half hearted shrug. Two pairs of dark eyes once more settled upon the boy, neither terse or threatening in any way, but both bore a certain piercing quality that made him fidget nonetheless.

"There's nothing for you to agree _to_ Conner. This is how things _have _to be. And it won't change just because you dislike it." Tommy spoke without regret or remorse. The teen was momentarily taken aback. His teacher was a compassionate man, often willing to compromise and bend to another's wishes just to make them happy despite himself. For him to state so firmly that **nothing** the red ranger could say or do would change his mind was like a slap in the face.

"I warned you this was a heavy burden to bear." The teacher reminded softly, without accusation.

"I almost wish I'd listened…"

Jason snorted softly, poking at the edges of the fire pit with an errant stick. He'd said his two cents and was quite content now to merely offer silent comfort to his companion.

"No you don't." Tommy stated without missing a beat, causing the young man to startle and spear him with a curious glance. A faint smile curled plump lips, and he shifted, leaning slightly against the strong frame at his side. That arm tightened just a fraction and his smile warmed just a little. "You're stronger than you give yourself credit for."

A skeptical look was the teacher's immediate reply and the scientist actually laughed. Short and soft, yes. But it was a start.

"I'm serious." He assured congenially.

"_Right._" Conner scoffed, tugging his blankets just a little tighter. This time Tommy snorted and an answering grin appeared on Jason's face.

"**Right.**" Tommy stressed, then nodded to himself. "I'm so glad you agree with me." The teen rolled his eyes and turned to the silent once-gold across the way.

"Is it possible to win an argument with him?" He demanded, jerking a thumb his mentor's way. Jason's grin grew and he shook his head almost playfully.

"An outright argument? No. Not unless your a sixth degree black belt in more styles than you can name and can beat him into submission, or you've got a fleet of pink ranger's stashed somewhere to hound him until he caves. Learn to accept the things you cannot change, young grasshopper, and master the art of compromise. Your life will be much happier." The man coached, earning a sharp smack upside the head from the black ranger tucked beneath his arm.

The teen groaned.

Jason just laughed.

And Tommy was simply glad the boy could still find the compassion to talk to him despite all he'd disclosed.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**Authors note** : _This is my first real foray into the Power rangers fanfiction world. Its obviously set in early DinoThunder before all the evil Trent nonsense with of course the addition of Jason. Take it as you will, friendship or more. I've obviously darkened the universe quite a bit, taking the G rating and ramped it up to something a bit more adult. Personally I like things on the darker side, I think its more realistic. This was also entirely borne out of an obnoxious little plot bunny that would not leave me alone and demanded to be written and written fast. Sorry if it comes across as pure exposition. XD Also, please excuse any mistakes I may have made and if you have any questions or comments, I'd love to hear them. Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it._


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